Growing and getting better at life means we need to be going where we are uncomfortable. We need to get out of our comfort zone. We need to make a habit of finding the moments where we feel like ‘this is hard,’ knowing that there will be growth, knowledge and awareness gained from the experience.
I am not just talking about bungee jumping here. I’m talking about daily living in a way that is big and bright and slightly scary.
One of my own weaknesses has been choosing to blend in over standing out. I have felt scared to show up, share my ideas, be myself, be seen!!! (Probably it doesn’t appear this way on the outside, as here I am posting a photo in my bikini!…) but like all of us there are lots of ways I hide, INSIDE my comfort zone.
How do we hide? We blend in, we keep our head down, say the things we think we want other people to hear or act in ways that feel socially accepted. We hide in unhealthy habits, eating bad foods, excessive alcohol, distracting ourselves with tv, shopping or social media. How come we choose the things we know aren’t good for us? I think because those things feel safe, they are habitual, and making excuses is easier.
I am now learning to be more scared of NOT living up to my potential than living without causing a ripple. If I don’t go where I haven’t been before and push my own boundaries, I might get to the end of my life and think… really? I didn’t do that? Because I felt scared???
Life begins at the end of our comfort zone. We go there by stretching.
I recently saw an interview with Lady Gaga, where she talks about why she took on her stage name ‘Lady Gaga’ instead of her birth name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. She talks about how Lady Gaga is the version of herself that doesn’t care what people think and that can be the fearless, vibrant character that she envisions.
I believe we can be adventurous without changing our name. To do this we have to be willing to walk in the version of ourselves that chooses to get out of our comfort zone. By trusting those big ideas and being bold even when we feel the fear.
Reaching our goals means challenging our comfort zone because we will never reach new heights if we aren’t willing to do things differently. We need to challenge ourselves to go uphill, to put in the hard work and to do the things that stretch us.
In order to grow, we need to get uncomfortable and allow ourselves to stay there long enough to reap the benefits.
Once we do start to create good results it’s easy to fall back into our previous habits. In The Big Leap a book by Gay Hendricks, he calls this the “Upper Limit Problem” because we habitually find ways to stay in a lower level way of living. We just aren’t used to a higher level of living because it is out of our comfort zone. Once success happens it becomes overwhelming and we find ways to bring ourselves back down to where we are comfortable. We get sick, make excuses, worry, cause conflict or we self-sabotage ourselves.
One example Henricks uses is when people win the lottery. Often times the sudden influx of financial abundance is really not what the winner is used to. Suddenly they are out of their comfort zone even though they believed that more money would solve all their problems. More often than not these winners lose it all in a series of bad choices. Subconsciously they are not ready to live in this new reality.
Hendricks says that once we learn to move past our own resistance we will look at it like a backpack full of rocks we used to carry around. It starts by being aware of when we are not allowing ourselves to feel good. It starts by getting out of our comfort zone where we are not challenging ourselves to reach new highs.
Here are a few notes I’ve made on getting uncomfortable (in the way you know it’s good for you):
– What do you want to do that feels scary?
– Make some plans to get out of your comfort zone. Schedule in regular experiences that you know will stretch your limits.
– Take notice of any behaviors that you engage in that belittle, or play small. Are you making excuses for good outcomes?
– Cultivate positive energy. Keep on turning to the good stuff, keep on showing up for what is big and bright and… scary!
– What does it feel like to be reaching new limits in your life? If you were to do the things that you fear or challenge you what would that feel like? Would you regret doing it? (I’m guessing your answer is no!)
– What are the fears that hold you back and how can you face them?
I hope this post helps you step out of your comfort zone! Feel free to share or post a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!
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